Mar 5, 2014 | Etiquette Expert
Birthday Parties! Teaching Your Children about Being a Gracious Host and a Good Guest
Birthday Party Manners
Every little girl and boy gets invited to birthday parties. Plenty of them I am sure. What fun! Whether you host the party, or take your son or daughter to one, here are a few etiquette tips to keep in mind:
For The Host
It is important to plan ahead. A great party starts with a good invitation. Birthday party invitations should be mailed or emailed at least two-three weeks before the big day. Include the following items on the invite:
What
(What type of party)
Who
(Who is hosting)
When and Where
(Time and address of the party)
Other Info
(For example, if it is a “swim” party, suggest that the child bring a swimsuit, towel, etc.)
RSVP (email or phone number to collect responses)
Invitations should be mailed or emailed, and not handed out at school. This prevents some feelings being hurt for those who may not be invited.
Before the big day, teach your son or daughter the importance and procedure for greeting and welcoming each guest who arrives. Good greetings help to make everyone feel comfortable and important. Now is a great time to teach eye contact and why it is important. It is so nice especially for children to see a familiar face when the door opens. It is okay, by the way, for you to be close by to greet other parents and for security reasons. Your son or daughter will want to take the guests’ coats and other things, and put them in the closet or in a back room.
As a parent, make sure to include your child in the party’s preparations and event activities. Put her in charge of passing out party favors, or include her thoughts ahead of time as to where her guests will sit at the table. This avoids much confusion the day of the party.
If she chooses to open gifts during her party, remind her about the purpose of gift giving. It is the thought that counts. Everyone should receive a smile and a “thank you” as she opens the gift.
A handwritten thank you note is a must after a party. The note needs to include the actual name of the gift and a thank you message for attending. Mail the notes as soon after the party as possible. This is a very good habit to start. If your child is too young or has not learned how to write, have her draw a picture and sign her name. You can do the rest. It is never too early to start getting your child into the practice of sending out thank you notes.
For the Guest
Never assume the host knows that you will automatically attend. An RSVP is a gracious act and one that never goes out of style.
Include your son or daughter when choosing the most perfect birthday gift. Let your child wrap it to show their creativity.
On the day of the party, make sure your child arrives on time. Have them wear something fun and appropriate. When your host opens the door, have your child greet them with a “Happy Birthday” and hand over the gift. Make sure you have placed a tag on the gift, or have attached a card with your name on it.
Encourage your son or daughter to participate in the games. Discuss several questions ahead of time that they might ask someone to start a conversation. Teach them about introducing themselves to others. A simple, “Hello, my name is Susan,” is a great start.
Teach your child about cleaning up after themselves. Remind them to properly dispose of their used paper cups, napkins or plates.
When leaving the party, instruct your children to tell the host (child and parent) that they had a good time and have them express their appreciation.
For information about Princess in Training Parties, click here.
For information about a party at Eloise at The Plaza, click here.
For more information about Manners To Go, click here.
As always, thanks for reading.
Feb 28, 2013 | Etiquette Expert
Join me and Eloise to learn everything you need to know about afternoon tea. The events are in New York at the famous Eloise Boutique. You will learn how to dine, dress, drink tea, and be confident forever! Reservations are an absolute must! So call now, and charge it please! Thank you very much.
Oct 3, 2012 | Etiquette Expert
The Importance of Integrating the Family Meal into Your Daily Schedule
When you look back into your childhood, which do you remember most, tangible gifts, i.e., new shoes, a new television, a new baseball glove, or major events? My fondest memory as a child was enjoying our family meals together. Yes, my mother was a very good southern cook (certainly a plus), but this was the time that we all shared together. We talked about what happened that day. This was when I learned how to have a conversation with adults, when I learned of my parent’s values, and of course, my manners.
I know what you’re probably saying, “Who has that kind of time these days? I look back at my parent’s lives and they were busy, too. They both worked outside the home
The family meal is not about the food, really. Think about how the market now caters to our hurried lives. Grocery stores have prepared foods. Some stores have a delivery service where you order your items from their web site. These items just need to be reheated. How convenient is that?
To get your family involved with the evening meal, have your children set the table. Put the prepared food on serving platters and call your family to the table. Sit down, and then talk and laugh about what is going on. Watch how each person holds their fork, and assist them if they need help. Praise them when they do something correctly. Is their napkin in their lap? How is their posture? The meal does not need to be about correcting them all the time. During some meals, you may just enjoy your time together, and allow yourself to observe and correct them at another time. It is so important just to have as many meals together as possible
Do your children like to cook? I bet they would love it. Plan your weekly menus together. This is another way to get them involved so they look forward to your family time. Set aside one night to supervise and cook with your children. Take them grocery shopping and try a new vegetable or fruit. Let them look for a new recipe on the Internet. Food Network is a great resource for recipes (www.foodnetwork.com).
Incorporating family meal time into your daily or weekly schedule is also a great way to set family rituals. One Friday afternoon when I was teaching an etiquette class for ten to fourteen year olds, two students who were brothers were so excited that it was Friday night. I thought they may be going to a sport’s event or a party. They quickly told me it was pizza, popcorn and a movie night on Friday nights with their family. They explained that everyone sat around and they were allowed to eat in the family room. Their enthusiasm was great.
The family meal is a time when you can create lasting memories, and ones that your children can carry forward as they raise their families.
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Sep 18, 2012 | Etiquette Expert
The Spirit of a Tea Party
Gentility—what is it? How do we create it and offer it to our little girls? One of the greatest pleasures for young ladies is the tea party. What a beautiful childhood experience it is, and it is so easily created, whether it is in your dining room or in the backyard. Oh, there is nothing like it.
The good thing about a tea party is that it can be spontaneous. Set a table with pretty flowers from your backyard. Look in your pantry for store bought cookies and put them on a pretty plate, of course. Have your daughter set out the tea cups and put sugar and milk in the appropriate containers. Now you can have tea together. It is a great time to talk about friendships, clothes, her hockey game next week, or anything that comes to mind. Sit back and enjoy this special moment.
For a more elaborate tea and one that is planned in advance, you can serve tea sandwiches, scones, cookies, and of course chocolate in any form. As for the tea, fruited types are very good as are black teas. Provide milk and sugar for your guest. Sliced lemons are nice, too. If your children are not fond of tea yet, lemonade or hot cocoa may be substituted.
The most popular teas are English Breakfast and Earl Grey. Both are mild and work with milk and sugar or just lemon.
Going out for tea is also a wonderful experience. It is such a fun event to experience with a group of friends. If you have the opportunity to go out for tea, you may see different types of titles to describe the menu offerings. Below, you’ll find several examples that you might encounter.
The Cream Tea—This offers scones with clotted cream and lemon curd or jams along with your choice of tea.
The Full Tea—The Full tea is a complete menu and includes finger sandwiches, scones, and a variety of sweets along with your choice of tea.
A Royal Tea—This offers the menu of a “full tea” along with a glass of champagne.
High Tea—“High Tea” is often misused to make the event seem more exclusive. High Tea is not a dainty affair. It is actually a heavy, simple sit-down meal. Back in the day of the Industrial Revolution, this was the meal the workers in the fields and the factories ate. It consisted of heavy meats and cheeses.
Afternoon tea is another fabulous ritual for everyone. It is great to plan around a special holiday like Mother’s Day, Easter, or Christmas. Afternoon tea is a magical and beautiful event, and it creates memories that will stay a lifetime.
Click here to learn more about manners classes for children.
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Lisa Richey provides etiquette programs to businesses, schools, and individuals.
