When adding a manners, social skills or SEL program to your list of activities, consider teaching the subtle differences between being kind and nice.
Teaching children the difference between being kind and being nice can help them develop empathy, authenticity, and a deeper understanding of their actions and their impact on others. Here are some strategies to help teach this distinction:
Steps to Teach the Difference Between Being Kind and Nice
Lead by example: Children learn a lot from observing the behavior of adults around them. Model kind and authentic behavior in your interactions with others. Show genuine care and empathy, and explain your actions when you are being kind.
Discuss emotions and perspectives: Engage children in conversations about emotions and different perspectives. Help them understand how kindness involves considering others’ feelings and needs, while niceness can sometimes be more superficial.
Highlight real-life examples: Point out examples from everyday life or stories where acts of kindness have made a difference. Discuss the impact these actions have had on others and how they reflect genuine care and empathy.
Encourage perspective-taking: Help children understand how their actions can affect others by encouraging them to take the perspective of someone else. Ask questions like, “How do you think that person felt when you did/said that?” This helps children develop empathy and consider the deeper impact of their actions.
Explore authentic emotions: Teach children to express their genuine emotions in appropriate ways. Explain that it’s okay to feel upset, disappointed, or angry at times, and that being kind doesn’t mean hiding or suppressing those emotions. Emphasize the importance of expressing emotions respectfully and constructively.
Teach assertiveness and boundaries: Help children understand that kindness also involves setting healthy boundaries and speaking up for themselves and others when necessary. Explain that being kind doesn’t mean always saying “yes” or avoiding conflict, but rather finding ways to address situations respectfully and compassionately.
Practice kindness in everyday situations: Encourage children to engage in acts of kindness regularly, such as helping a friend, sharing, or showing empathy when someone is sad. Reinforce the positive impact of these actions and discuss how they differ from simply being nice.
Reflect and discuss: After certain situations, reflect with children on how kindness and niceness played a role. Discuss the differences in outcomes and how being kind can create deeper connections and positive change.
Remember, teaching children about kindness and authenticity is an ongoing process. Be patient, reinforce positive behavior, and continue having open discussions to help them understand the nuances between being kind and being nice.
What Are Good Manners in the Elementary School Classroom and Why They Are Needed
Do elementary school students need to learn good manners?Is it still useful for students to learn good social skills?Are you the one that needs to teach this?Do you even have the time?
These might be the questions you are asking yourself about now.
Trust me, your students need you to show them how to not be socially awkward or uncomfortable.
Pride in showing their parents that they know how to use their good manners
Better manners in everyday life outside the classroom
Happier and healthy
Friendlier
Activities to Teach Manners in Elementary School
Today, I am sharing an activity/lesson plan that you can easily easily teach in your classroom. In fact, if you click on the image below, you can download the specific manners lesson plan.
I believe when we set a goals or intention we need to understand our “why” behind it. This lesson plan will help your students understand the “why” we use our good manners everyday – in public, at at home, with others and especially in your classroom.
This is a fun activity and one that can take only five minutes – or more. You choose.
Your students can engage in a conversation, answer as a group or write down their answers independently.
Manners can be fun. Students love learning about them. In fact, these activities make is so fun, they will not even realize they are learning basic social skills.
At Manners To Go, we believe you need to start with the “why”. Whether you are an adult or a child, when you think about your why, it motivates and inspires us.
This especially works when you have a goal to meet – more about that later.
Let’s get to the manners activities that you can teach teach starting today.
These are basic and for every grade level. You can adjust them accordingly.
Opening Dialogue:
Remember to start with the “why”. I suggest asking your students why they think learning good manners is important.
Engage with them and let them call out their answers.
This is one of the most requested lesson plans within Manners To Go. Conversation skills are so very important for us all – especially for children. This how they get to know others and build friendships.
You can have questions prepared ahead of time or you can create them in the moment. You want to make sure they are open-ended questions. You do not want your students to answer with a “yes” or “no”.
Place two chairs in the front of your classroom. Ask for volunteers.
You may need to get the two students started by prompting them.
Remind them a conversation is like playing tennis. One hits the ball and the other returns it. Having a conversation is a back and forth situation.
Examples of questions:
Student # 1
What is your favorite movie?
Why?
Student # 2
This student can ask the same question or create another one.
Other examples
What is your favorite sport?
What are you reading right now for fun?
What is your favorite breakfast?
If you were an animal, what would you be? Why?
Manners Activity # 2
Practice Ordering in a Restaurant
This activity offers many teachable moments.
You can set a table up in your classroom. Ask for 3-4 children to volunteer.
Take them through the steps. One student can play the role of the server. The other two can play the role of the diners.
Have them practice:
Patience
Eye Contact
Being kind
Listening first
Kindly asking questions
Placing their order
Encourage them to have a conversation with the others sitting at the table
You can make this exercise simple or go all in – prep menus, place salt and pepper shakers, condiments, napkins etc. on the table.
Manners Activity # 3
Writing Thank You Notes
Pass around paper or you can actually have thank you note cards.
The important step here is to have them write or draw (depending on age) the thank you note.
This is an activity that you can do weekly.
Feeling and experiencing gratitude is so uplifting for both the writer and receiver.
Choose other teachers, librarians, school counselors, custodians and principals to receive the notes.
Your students can send notes of thanks for certain actions.
For example, maybe the librarian assisted a student by finding a book for them. They can send a thank you to the custodian staff for keeping your school tidy and clean.
Thank you note writing is a very important step in learning good manners.
How do you teach your students to have a conversation? Isn’t it special to have someone be fully present with you? To have a conversation with anyone, an adult or a child is something to behold these days…a conversation without distraction.
My most popular topic when teaching business etiquette in the workplace is The Art of the Human Connection. The art of having a conversation, is a lost “art”. We are so consumed with social media that often we are so buried in it we miss out on so many opportunities. Often, it is the first request I have from a human resource director to discuss the basic skills of conversation to their team.
Take the time to teach your students how to converse! Life is fuller when you have this life skill. You actually become interesting. A children and teens learn so much about life when they hear others conversing.
Eye contact: This is a social skill that is so very important. By making eye contact, it shows someone that you are interested. It sends a message that you are confident. Point this out to your students. Explain why this is important. Take the opportunity to talk about confidence and how it feels. If your students are six or younger, get on their level. Literally! Get down on your knees if necessary and make eye contact with them.
Teach them to listen to others: Another important social skill is to listen. Tell them it is alright for there to be silence when having a conversation. This is the time to practice sharing-sharing the space to tell ideas and experiences.
Ask questions: By asking questions, you show others that you are interested in their experiences. Ask a student questions. Explain to them that you are having a conversation.
Phone skills: The Wall Street Journal had an article about answering the phone. Remember when we were growing up and we took messages for our parents? With smart phones, this most likely is not happening. This was a great way to teach conversation skills. It is still important for children to know how to answer a phone and converse.
Read a story. After reading a story, talk about it with your students. Did they like the story? What was their favorite part?
Our work is featured in the New York Times, Parents Magazine, The Huffington Post, Fox News Channel, and the Today Show website. We develop curricula for all grade levels.
We are here to help you make a meaningful mark on today’s youth.
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PRIVATE Training. That’s right, we meet in person, the two of us and our focus is completely on your business. Click the image above or follow the button below to learn more and to see a list of cities available for your training.
Etiquette Tips: Getting Children Ready for “Take Your Sons and Daughters to Work Day”
Social Emotional Learning | Character Education | Life Skills
The “Take Your Sons and Daughters to Work Day” program is a national organization that partners with companies to host our children in the workplace. The program offers children the chance to see what happens in an office environment. Many observe their parents at work.
This year the event is Thursday, April 27, 2023.
Are your students taking the day off to be with their parents? If you are a parent, are your children heading to work with you on Thursday?
Etiquette Tips on How to Guide Students to a Successful and Fun Day at the Office
Practice eye contact, a good handshake, and standing up for introductions. Explain to your students the importance of getting along with others.
Conversation starters: They will be meeting new children and co-workers. To include others and be included is very important. Popular questions: Where do you go to school? Do you play sports? How many pets do you have? What is your favorite movie?
Keep in mind the office dress code. Remember first impressions are very important. A conservative outfit is the best choice in this situation.
Table manners: Chew with your mouth closed. The napkin belongs in the lap and elbows off the table.
Have your students/child write thank you notes: to the personnel that was involved in making it a special day.
Would you like to learn more about teaching manners and etiquette in your classroom?
We are here to help you make a meaningful mark on today’s youth.
About Manners To Go
Most likely we already share something in common. We believe teaching children manners is very important.
Manners To Go™ is a full-service company for those choosing to teach manners to children. You can make a difference. All children and teenagers deserve to feel what it is like to be confident and use good manners out in the world.
Manners To Go™ is taught in public, private, and charter schools around the world. The New York Times, Parents Magazine and Fox News have all featured Manners To Go and the many benefits of teaching social skills to children.
Whether you are an educator who wants to teach it in the classroom or someone who is looking to become trained and certified, we provide all the solutions.
My name is Lisa Richey, and I am the founder of Manners To Go™. This brand has given me the honor of teaching manners to thousands of people around the world. The journey has taken me from Portland, Oregon to the Middle East. I believe that manners are not about judgment or rules. Manners are about self-interest. It really is about how using good manners makes you feel on the inside.
Lisa Richey provides etiquette programs to businesses, schools, and individuals.
